Messages from My 49 Day Dark Retreat

Touching the Mystery of the Self and the Universe

We have created a culture of idols and gods, but in the process have unconsciously given up our own power and by projecting it outward have lost the connection with our own higher guidance system.

We have invented a world of superheroes with magical powers and as a result have learned to project these qualities onto fictional, cartoon like characters, all the while ignoring our own human potential and its capacity for true magic and miracles.

I have had the opportunity to do 5 individual Dark Retreats so far and I am beyond grateful for the gifts that this form of self exploration has brought into my life.

The length of each dark retreat I have completed:

36 hours, 3 days, 5 days, 21 days, 49 days.

I have always been fascinated by the world of the beyond and the journey after our physical death.

When I first learned about what the Buddhists call the Bardo, the intermediary stage of the afterlife, what it represents and how it is the ultimate test of our evolutionary progress, even if the representation were only symbolic, I have always been deeply inspired by its concept.

Indeed, my 49 days in darkness have in many ways been representative of the Bardo state, its symbolism of light and dark and a deep realization of how crucial it is to stay equanimous throughout the process.

Ever since learning about the Bardo, whether its existence be real or mythical, I've always known that when I would enter it, I would be ready.

But much beyond the theory of Bardo, I have always wanted to maximize my own human potential and explore the vastness of the possibilities for our human race as a whole.

The transformation that has resulted from my retreat has not only been profound, triumphant and revolutionary, but also surprisingly grounding and practical. As a result of this profound way of self-exploration, I now feel so much more vast and unlimited and yet at the same time, completely centered, grounded and connected. It is as if my higher guidance system were no longer separate from me, but rather behind my every move, thought and action. As if my higher Self were in the driver's seat of my daily existence. I feel much more in touch with higher dimensions and yet I feel deeply grounded, present and alive here and now.

I have found that so many of our thoughts, emotions and actions are controlled by these subtle and invisible fears and insecurities that are so brilliantly concealed and embedded in our personalities. Before my dark retreat, I knew there were still some limitations that I needed to transform, but I had no idea how. I felt I had done everything I could. It was only after sitting for many days and weeks on end with all sorts of unpleasant emotions and past recollections over and over again, that I was able to reach a profound state of surrender and all-embracing, unconditional love and acceptance and as a result, release and transform deep imprints from my psyche.

Throughout this process, I have realized just how painful and unpleasant a state of resistance can be and how deeply unaware we are of the perpetual state of resistance that most of us unconsciously abide in.

I suddenly knew that the source of all our misery lies in our unconscious resistance of the unwanted and of the unpleasant. And yet, paradoxically, it is our very attempt to overcome this pain that keeps us in the perpetual state of misery, because of its underlying mechanism of the state of resistance.

“What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” ~ C. Jung

We live in a predominant paradigm, where the very idea of overcoming an unpleasant state or pain is to get rid of it, to extract and eradicate it from our life. But those unpleasant emotions that are so persistent are there precisely because we have never been able to accept or embrace them in the first place, which is the only way to release them!

And just imagine how long the list of all these unwanted emotions is there for all of us!

It is incredible what our own higher guidance system is capable of when we allow it to take precedence over our limited thoughts and emotions that serve as our usual navigation system and that so often stand in the way of our true unlimited potential. I found that the most direct and practical key to growth and expansion lies in the unconditional acceptance and compassionate embracing of all that is - exactly how it is - in its raw and unaltered state. That is what love really is, the true kind of love, our very essence and the source of all that is...

Whenever we are in a state of resistance and do not allow this fundamental essence of life to flow through us, we become stagnant and feel "stuck", as if we were slowly slipping toward the energy of death in all its aspects - energetic, spiritual, mental, emotional, as well as physical. For anything that is of the dark is closed, un-open, stagnant and heavy, while all that is of the light is open, free-flowing and...

... LIGHT!

This is also why people who are unable to accept and let go, feel so uninspired and weighed down by life. It is also the ultimate cause and origin of anxiety, so predominant and rampant in our modern world.

As long as we keep ourselves open as a hollow bamboo and allow everything to pass through us, unobstructed, we can always access a state of high vibration and will not succumb to a low emotional state.

This state of openness, however, needs to be carefully tended to and mindfully maintained because of our deep conditioning and unconscious tendencies or "samskaras" (our past imprints) to fall back into our "safe" zone...

It is important to realize that what we often deem as safe only feels safe because of the nature of its habitual familiarity. In other words, however illusory our reality may be, it feels safe because of its long term repetitive nature, habit and the hypnotic state of being which it perpetuates.

We are so hard-wired to be in a state of unconscious and reactive state of resistance whenever anything unpleasant enters our perception.

We have created endless means of distraction for this very purpose!

Not realizing that the more we distract ourselves from whatever arises that is unpleasant, painful or uncomfortable, the more intense and overwhelming our thoughts and emotions become once we do find ourselves alone and without distraction. By then, however, we may have already reached a state of deep depression or anxiety.

Never before did I find more meaning in the old saying, "what we resist, persists".

This is one of the reasons why the dark retreat in essence is so profoundly transformative. It serves as a perfect ground for noticing and releasing...

You can't miss anything there, simply because there are no distractions but the SELF alone.

Since whenever we are in a state of distraction from our Self, it is as if we were in a suspended state of hypnosis, where our life is no longer ours but is instead in a passive, suggestible state, in which we are so easily programmed and controlled.

For this reason, the shedding and the releasing of old patterns was also deeply deprogramming

and as a result provided a sort of direct unveiling of the beyond, revealing my true essence and reconnecting me with my own ultimate source and my own higher guidance system.

When the heart of the Self becomes the heart of the Universe, only ONENESS and LOVE remains.

The other compelling and inevitable aspect of the awakening process is the quantum field of all knowledge and wisdom that we are all able to tap into when reaching such a state of high frequency and openness. You suddenly see how everything in existence works and why, and yet it no longer matters, since you are now...

ONE WITH EVERYTHING.

The state of separation is exclusively connected with our un-awakened state of being and thus, it is impossible for us to see beyond it, unless we transcend it.

Everything has its purpose.

I have seen my whole life in front of me many times over, the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.

At the same time, I was able to see it all from a perspective that was so elevated, universal and wise.

I could see just how important and necessary it was for everything in my life to happen just as it did, in order for me to later gain this deep incentive to grow and break off from the complex, limiting and binding structures of my small and illusory sense of self.

Also, one of the most important lessons for me was to learn how to no longer run away from the world as it is. Ever since I can remember, I have tried to escape the world into my own inner version of reality filled with magic, dreams and miracles that would one day become true.

Now, looking back, they have become true! Though it has been a long journey to get here...

But now, the reality "out there" has merged with the one "in here".

That is the ultimate secret and magic of transcendence. If you truly long for it, you will find it, within or without.

"As above, so below, as within, so without, as the Universe, so the soul."

The power of dreams and fantasy when driven by the longing for transcendence can provide not only a much needed source of inspiration, hope and upliftment, but can even become life-saving.

The ways of our world can be soul crushing at times. It is therefore necessary that we keep our spirit in high vibrations, even if it requires inventing an inner world of fantasy that creates a sense of otherworldly beauty that we are yet unable to see in our own reality.

We first need to break off from the pre-paved paths and structures that are relentless in suggesting and directing us toward "fitting the mould" until we find our own way to revolutionize our life that not only includes the outside world but even more, helps it flourish and evolve.

I believe that the best way we can help transform others is through the way we ourselves have transformed.

My personal way of contribution is to help others see the bigger picture and help them discover their own highest potential in the world. It is to share my own higher perspective and the most effective and direct ways that have led to my own transformation. And finally, to inspire and guide, those who are open, toward their own all-embracing, unconditional and compassionate state of acceptance of all that is and help them recognize and decipher the real from the unreal in order to bring about a profound and yet fully grounded state of awakening, peace and harmony.